The type of leadership in a church will always be reflected by the people. If the leadership is hard and demanding the people will be hard and demanding, if the leadership is loving and kind so will the people. John chapter ten gives us the perfect example of a shepherd, it should be an model to all pastors. The pastor is to lead by example, if the pastor reflects the character of the Lord the sheep will follow.
A good leader will surround himself with good men and listen to sound advise. A great leader will listen to His wife. I believe wives are an integral part of a pastor's ministry, she is his helpmeet. She is able to see things from a woman's perspective thereby giving her husband insight that he would not otherwise have.
A good leader in the church must be a good leader in the home; this can only be accomplished if he is spending time with God and living what he says he believes. It is my opinion that a good leader must show his family that the fellowship of believers is an integral part of mature christian development, and an opportunity to minister as well as worship.
Attitude will always reflect leadership, if you have a "attitude" about "church" so will your wife and children. For example: "I don't feel like going," I don't get anything out of it," It's too nice a day to go to church, lets go to the beach instead,"... and the list is endless. Your personal worship time with God will always determine your attitude and spirit when it come to corporate worship. If you spend very little time with God during the week, why would you want to come to "church", and give up a perfectly good Sunday, just to be miserable.
A godly spiritual man will lead his family in the paths of righteousness, everyone else leads their families on the path of luke warmness, and we know what Christ thinks about that.
Being a godly leader does not guarantee a godly family, but it does guarantee this from the Lord, " Well done thou good and faithful servant. And that really is the bottom line.